A dream will do
by Jessica12
Summary: Scully has left the FBI and started a new life after Mulder left..But he'll come for her (AU)


Title: A dream will do  
  
Author: Jessica ( j_rothen@yahoo.se )  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Category: AU, MSR, V  
  
Spoiler: None  
  
Feedback: Yes please...j_rothen@yahoo.se  
  
Archive: Whereever, just let me now where.  
  
Website: www.geocities.com/jlovesxfiles  
  
Summary: Scully has left The X-files and FBI behind and   
started a new life.   
  
Disclaimer: The X-files, Mulder and Scully belong to FOX   
and they are not mine.   
  
Note: English is not my first language so spelling/ grammar  
mistake may occur.  
  
  
They say that wisdom comes with time. I don't know about  
that. I'm not young anymore but I don't know much more than I  
did before.   
I found just last night some lines around my eyes  
and last week I found some gray hairs.   
Time is passing me by. But I don't mind. I enjoy getting older.   
The best thing about getting older is watching my son grow.   
William is such a beautiful child. He would be mad if her heard me   
call him a child. He is ten, a young boy. He has begun turning some   
heads. I can see so much of his father in him. I can see the same fire  
inside of him. I'm so proud of him. He is my miracle.  
We left FBI and Washington behind five years ago. I have never  
regret moving. After Mulder left I kind of lost my nerve. I   
lost the craving for the truth. I said once that I would never   
leave but I found it to be the only way. It was time to pass  
the torch to John and Monica. It was the hardest thing I have  
ever done. But I think they understood. Leaving John behind  
felt like leaving a piece of my heart behind. I have never   
told him how grateful I am for the things he has done for me.  
I owe him so much. I did not dare to put words to my feelings   
when it came to him. I let it slide. I had a son to think   
about. We talk on the phone these days and he has come to   
visit a couple of times. Every time he comes I can see a longing  
in his eyes. He is so good with William but I can't give him  
what he wants. I can't give him my heart. I think he knows  
that. But I do love him. I do. But not the way he deserves to  
be loved. Sometimes when I lay in bed I wish I could make   
myself love him. Everything would be so much easier. But I   
know it wouldn't be fair to neither of us. Loneliness is a   
friend of mine these days. I have been on some dates but I   
can't say that my heart was in it. I have surrendered to the   
thought that I will be alone.   
The little town of Silver creek, Minnesota, is our home these  
days. We live in a yellow house at the edge of town. I fell   
in love with that house as soon as I saw it and I have never   
regret buying it. It took some months for me to find the   
path I wanted to take when it came to work. After working with  
the X-files everything else felt like second best. But   
somehow and in someway I found my way back to the trade I know  
I was born to do: being a doctor. The little private practice  
is all that I need. I'm back to being just plane old Dana  
Scully, m.d. This is my life and I have found my haven.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
I was back among the living or at least it felt like that.   
You might say that I was back were I belong. It has been ten  
years since I walked out of them. But I had never a choice. It  
was the right thing to do. I was saving their life by leaving  
them. It took all my strength to stay away as long as I did.   
Ten years is a lifetime. I don't know why I'm back. I just   
can't take this anymore. I need them.  
My hands tremble and my heart is racing when I walk the path  
to their house. I feel dizzy when I knock on the front door.   
It took a month for me to find them. But I'm finally here.  
Then suddenly I'm standing face to face with the person I have  
waited so long to see. The miracle that is William. He is ten  
these days. I have to remind myself of that. He is so   
beautiful. I try to say something, do something. But I can't   
make my lips move.   
- Mister, are you here to see my mother?  
Then she appears in the door. The angel that have lived in my  
dreams for years now. The years have been kind to her. She is  
the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.  
- Mulder.  
It felt like a dream hearing her say my name.  
- Scully, I...  
I wanted to explain, to say something.  
- Won't you come inside?  
I just nodded. I couldn't do anything else. I don't know how  
I made my legs move but somehow I got inside.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
I watch him from the doorway to my living room. I can't believe  
that he is in my house. Mulder is back in my life. It feels like  
a dream. What should I say? How should I act? It has been   
ten years. Why have he come? I move slowly and sit down   
opposite him.  
- Scully, I want...  
- Why have you come?  
- I just wanted to see you.  
- Just like that? Why now? It's been ten years. That's a long  
time.  
- I know. Believe me. I know. Not one minute has gone by when  
I haven't regret leaving.  
- So what?! Did you come here to talk about the past? Don't   
bother. I don't care anymore. What happened, happened. I have  
accepted that. I would advice you to do the same.  
- I thought I could. I was wrong. I was wrong about so many   
things.  
- But why now?! We have made it just fine without you and we'll  
be just okay when you leave.  
- But what if I don't want to leave?  
I froze. I want so badly to open up and let him back inside.   
But I'm not young anymore. I have so much to loose. I have   
William to think about.   
- We don't need you. So you can go back to wherever you came   
from.  
I rise, wanting to distance myself from him. I turn my back to  
him. I can hear him walking up behind me. I want to move but  
my legs won't budge.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
My hands tremble as I reach out to touch her. I had planned it  
so well. I had half expected her to greet me with open arms.  
Maybe it was foolish to dream like that. But I couldn't help   
myself. When it comes to Scully I can't help but dream. I   
refuse to let her go of her again. I refuse to let go of   
neither of them. I was stupid once before to let go of such  
a beautiful thing. It will not happen again.   
- I'm not leaving. Not again.  
- You haven't got a choice. We don't want you here.  
I reach out and turn her around. She looks at me with such   
fire in her eyes. I know she's angry but I can also see pain  
in her eyes. She has this wall around her heart to protect   
herself from harm. I know that I have caused her so much pain  
but it will not happen again, not ever.   
- I will not leave you again. Not ever.  
I could see tears in her eyes when she stepped away from me.  
- Get out! Leave us alone!  
She pushed me away from herself.  
- I won't leave! I need you. Can't you see that?  
- You have no right to come her and...  
- I love you.  
- Don't say that.  
I moved closer to her. My hands screamed out to touch her. I  
framed her face with my hands and looked her straight into   
her eyes.   
- I will never leave you. We belong together.  
She was crying now. Her tears marked her face and died on her  
lips.  
- You lie.  
- No, I don't. I loved you then and I love you now. I didn't  
think it was possible but I think I love you more than ever.  
I have never loved another as much as I love you.  
- Please, don't do this.  
- I have to. The one thing I have learned during these past  
ten years is that you must cling to every moment you get with  
those you love otherwise you will wake up one day and they   
will be all gone. I will not let you go.   
- Please, I can't take this. I'm not strong enough.  
- I'm just standing here asking for your love. If you let me  
I will love you until end of time.  
- Mulder, I...  
I brushed away the tears from her lips and whispered:  
- Scully, let me love you.  
Then I kissed her. I have dreamt about this moment for so long  
that I almost fell apart when I felt her lips against mine.   
She opened herself up to me and let me taste her. Then I took  
her into my arms and held on to her like my life depended on  
it.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It feels so nice to feel his arms around me again. I have  
dreamt about this. I have imagined it for so long. I'm not   
scared anymore. It feels like I can take on the world if he   
only loves me. As I stand there listening to his heartbeat  
I feel my walls crumble. I surrender to the thing that I have  
known for so long. I love him. I adore him. I desire him. I   
need him beside me. Finally I surrender to the truth.  
- I love you, Mulder.  
We stand there clinging to each other for a while. I don't   
know what the future holds but one thought comfort me. We will  
face it together and we will win.  
  
  
Feedback.....Please...j_rothen@yahoo.se 


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